Hati-hati Kalau Panggil Istri Dengan Sebutan ‘Mama’, ‘Bunda’ atau ‘Dek’! Ini Hukumnya

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Boleh gak sih manggil istri dengan sebutan, mama, ibu, ummi atau dek? Hmm. Sebelum itu, mungkin poly menurut kita yg belum mengenal apa itu Zhihar.

Lalu, Apa Itu Zhihar?
Dikutip berdasarkan ruangmuslimah, zhihar memliki arti Punggung. Hal ini berarti memanggil istri menggunakan ‘engkau  bagai punggung ibuku’.

Sedangkan secara istilah yang dimaksud zhihar adalah suami menyerupakan istrinya dalam sesuatu yang haram dalam salah  keliru satu mahramnya misalnya ibunya atau saudara perempuannya.

Panggilan zhihar misalnya pada atas pada masa Jahiliyyah dipercaya sebagai talak. Ketika Islam tiba, ucapan semacam itu tidak dianggap talak. (Lihat Al-Fiqh Al-Manhaji, 2: 14)

Allah Ta’ala berfirman,

الَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنكُم مِّن نِّسَائِهِم مَّا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ ۖ إِنْ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلَّا اللَّائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْ ۚ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنكَرًا مِّنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًا ۚ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفُورٌ

“Orang-orang di antara kamu yg menzihar istrinya, (menganggap istrinya sebagai ibunya, padahal) istri mereka itu bukanlah ibunya. Ibu-ibu mereka hanyalah wanita yg melahirkannya. Dan sesungguhnya mereka benar-benar telah mengucapkan suatu perkataan yg mungkar & bohong. Dan sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pemaaf, Maha Pengampun. (QS. Al Mujaadilah: 1)

وَالَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِن نِّسَائِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُوا فَتَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَاسَّا ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ تُوعَظُونَ بِهِ ۚ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ

“Dan mereka yg menzihar istrinya, kemudian menarik balik  apa yang telah mereka ucapkan, maka (mereka diwajibkan) memerdekakan seseorang budak sebelum kedua suami istri itu bercampur. Demikianlah yang diajarkan kepadamu, dan Allah Mahateliti terhadap apa yg kamu kerjakan.” (QS. Al Mujaadilah: tiga)

فَمَن لَّمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ مِن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَاسَّا ۖ فَمَن لَّمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَإِطْعَامُ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِينًا ۚ ذَٰلِكَ لِتُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ ۚ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ ۗ وَلِلْكَافِرِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ

“Maka barangsiapa tidak dapat (memerdekakan hamba sahaya), maka (dia harus) berpuasa 2 bulan berturut-turut sebelum keduanya bercampur. Tetapi barangsiapa tidak sanggup, maka (wajib ) memberi makan enam puluh orang miskin. Demikianlah supaya kamu beriman pada Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Itulah hukum-hukum Allah, dan bagi orang-orang yg mengingkarinya akan menerima azab yang sangat pedih.” (QS. Al Mujaadilah: 4)

Lalu, bagaimana dengan memanggil istri ummi, bunda, mama & sebagainya?

Ada pendapat menurut Syaikh ‘Abdurrahman bin Nashir As-Sa’pada, dia berkata,

“Dimakruhkan seseorang suami memanggil istrinya menggunakan panggilan nama mahramnya misalnya ‘wahai ibuku’, ‘wahai saudaraku (yuk dek)’ atau semacam itu. Karena seperti itu berarti menyerupakan istri dengan mahramnya,” (Tafsir As-Sa’di, hal. 893).

Ada informasi lain yg menduga memanggil dengan panggilan seperti itu nir termasuk zhihar yang terlarang pada ayat. Lantaran zhihar itu ada 2 macam:

Pertama, zhihar tegas misalnya kamu seperti punggung ibuku,

Kedua, zhihar kinayah yaitu tidak tegas misalnya engkau  bagiku misalnya mak   dan adikku. Untuk yang terakhir mesti ditinjau dari niatnya. Apabila diniatkan zhihar, maka termasuk zhihar. Namun jika maksudnya menyerupakan dengan bunda & saudara termuda menurut sisi kemuliaan, maka tidak termasuk zhihar. Ketika nir termasuk, maka nir terdapat kewajiban atau kafarah apa pun. (Lihat Al-Fiqh Al-Manhaji, dua: 15).

Untuk waktu ini panggilan suami berupa mama, ummi, dek atau semacamnya, secara kentara kita memahami bahwa hal itu bukanlah Zhihar seperti yg orang jahiliyah maksudkan.

Panggilan itu berarti panggilan biasa, bahkan panggilan buat menerangkan rasa sayang, maka itu tidak apa-apa.

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